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Naming Rights: How $45 Million could be raised

We are being asked to fork over funds to replace an electronic scoreboard at Alliance Bank Stadium. Before we reach into our pockets to fund such things perhaps we could “pimp out” our facilities in order to bring in much needed cash.

Let’s rename every Onondaga County and city of Syracuse facility to bring to some dough. Just to name a few…

The Taser Justice Center
The company that manufactures the Taser brand zapping device pays for naming rights to the jail. This investment sends a message to the public. Gives new meaning to “don’t Tase me bro.” $5,000,000

The Charmin Metropolitan Sewage Treatment Facility
In sponsoring this state of the art facility the company name would be on the lips, or um, behinds of every citizen. $5,000,000

The Metamucil Regional Treatment Facility at Midland
The naming of this space will remind people especially over 50 of the miracle of clean and clear fiber – Storage, slight treatment and release. $3,000,000

Syracuse brand bottled water called OnonaCusa
Have you ever tried to drink tap water when visiting somewhere else? Let’s bottle this stuff and make some money. $10,000,000

The Halliburton Locker Rooms at the Onondaga County War Memorial – This company could afford to pay for the entire War Memorial project including the scoreboard and locker room facilities. $2,000,000

Bill Clinton Square
He needs a legacy beside an old library in Arkansas – let’s make him pay for it. $5,000,000

The Purell Home and Hospital
With the slogan, “Clean hands, clean hospital” named every time there’s a threat to sell it. $2,000,000

The Miracle Grow Rose Gardens at Thornden Park
Great big green and yellow bunting all over with the reminder that, “you too can have freakishly large fruit, vegetables and flowers.” $6,000,000

The Green Giant’s Regional Market
A towering green mascot welcoming people to the facility, gives new meaning to “Ho, Ho, Ho…Green Giant.” $10,000,000

The Victoria’s Secrets scoreboard at Alliance Stadium
The scoreboard graphics would finally give people a reason to go to an out of the way stadium. $2,000,000

Grand Total $45,000,000

Ken Jackson is the editor of Urban CNY. Reach Ken at urbancny.com

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